Tubes, Taxis, and Shanks's Pony

LONDON—If you’ve dragged yourself halfway round the world to London, you’re not going to want to confine yourself to seeing Frieze, especially since there are so many other international art fairs going on at the same time. But be warned: the city’s size, antiquated public transport system, and astronomical expense can frustrate even the most street-smart aesthete (it did me, which is why I no longer live there!). Unfortunately, London is hardly blessed with what you might call a healthy “geo-cultural” balance—the situation, I fear, is even worse than in your typical sprawling cosmopolis—but hopefully these observations on the fairs and tips for shuttling from Frieze to its satellites should help you plan your itinerary and ease some nerves.

Frieze: the reason you’re there, obviously, and a true heavyweight on the global art fair circuit, with 151 galleries showing.

Frieze location and travel notes: It’s in Regent’s Park, which—unlike some other British places with the word “Park” in their name—is an actual park in north central London. Feel really pleased with yourself if you (or better still, your employers) have already booked a hotel room within a few hundred yards’ walking distance.

If you haven’t, you can use the tube. The Regent’s Park and Great Portland Street stations are closest, but Baker Street, just a bit further away, is better connected. If you’re going to be using tubes at all, make sure you get yourself an “Oyster Card.” It’s not the most straightforward form of advance payment I’ve ever encountered, but a huge saving over paying for individual tickets. (Note that tube fares increase the farther you travel.)

The Frieze folks suggest using the bus, but unless you have the rare good fortune to have an easy ride from wherever you’re staying, I’d say forget it. London bus routes are insanely complicated, timetables are only there so that drivers can ignore them, and the lovely old Routemaster double-deckers have disappeared. Plus, like everything in London, they’re expensive. Still, if you want to try it, I understand that Regent’s Park is “served” (Ha!) by bus numbers 2, 13, 18, 27, 30, 74, 82, 88, 113, 115, 139, 148, 189, 274 & C2. Got that? No, I thought not.

There are car parks slightly farther away from Regent’s Park than the tube, but unless you have your own personal car and driver, my advice on driving around London is Don’t. You’ll get lost, the costs of “petrol” and parking are insane, and the steering wheel, like everything else, is on the wrong side of the car. Londoners (and the thousands of out-of-towners who haven’t a clue where they’re going) drive like blind maniacs. Even on a Sunday, a “minor road works” will cause chaos for miles around. You’ll stray into the infamous “Congestion Zone” without realizing it and be hounded by the Metropolitan Police for the rest of your days. Don’t drive.

Apparently “bike racks are provided within the park,” but that’s an even crazier idea than driving. You’re going to bike around London? In October? After flying through at least five time zones on an overnight flight? With all the cars on the wrong side of the road? No, I wouldn’t either.

So what does that leave? Taxis. Black cabs. The only form of transport in London that I can recommend with my hand on my heart. They’re comfortable. You can get five people in them with only a slight squeeze. The drivers are mostly friendly, talkative, and absolute miracle workers when it comes to knowing the quickest route from one place to another. (They actually have to pass a fiendish exam on London geography to get their license.) OK, so there aren’t enough of them, particularly in bad weather. They are also very expensive, but face it: you’re going to London for the better part of a week. There are almost exactly two dollars to the pound now. You’re going to come back with debts almost as bad as your student loans. A few cab rides aren’t going to make that much difference.

Of course, if you’re lucky with the weather you can always try what Brits of a certain age still call “Shanks’s Pony”: which is to say, you can walk. You’ll have comfortable shoes with you just to get around Frieze, so where I’ve thought it at all feasible, I’ve included directions for walkers. And, although I’ve tried to be as clear as possible, you should buy a “London A-Z,” in the little paperback version. It’s one of the best thought-out street maps in the world, and it also has a tube map in it. It’s famously a design classic, in contrast to the tube system itself, which is a design nightmare.

Pulse: Well known to fair visitors in New York and Miami, Pulse is trying London for the first time this year. And as they’re taking many of their regular exhibitors with them, I can’t see any reason why they shouldn’t succeed here as well.

Pulse location and travel notes: Pulse is not too far from Frieze, but here I’d discourage you from walking. If you try to walk east on Marylebone Road, you’ll get caught up in all sorts of underpass nonsense as it morphs into Euston Road. So get in a taxi, and say to the driver, “Tavistock Place, mate. Just off Tavistock Square.” You don’t have to say “mate,” really, but it might give him a laugh. When you get to Tavistock Place, you want Mary Ward House, numbers 5–7, where the good people at Pulse will probably have put up a sign.

DesignArt London: Fairs that present design as just another sort of art are stretching credibility in my opinion, but here’s another one having a go at it. This is its first time in London, and I guess its success will depend on how many Londoners get as excited about their sofa as they do about sculpture. (Of course, if they find out that it’s been organized by a French outfit, DesignArt London will be sunk.)

DesignArt London location and travel notes: This one’s in Hanover Square, Mayfair. This might be the time to try the tube, as you can get the rickety old Bakerloo Line train directly from Regent’s Park to Oxford Circus. But be warned: Unless you have the aforementioned Oyster Card, this will cost you £4 one way—yes, $8 to travel one stop. When you get to Oxford Circus, walk south on Regent Street and take the first street on the right. This is Princes Street, which leads directly to Hanover Square.

Zoo Art Fair: Of course all art fairs are a bit of a zoo (Ha!), but this one is so named because—yes—it used to take place at London Zoo. It’s supposed to feature emerging artists and galleries, but the organizers must have some weird counting thing going on, because their designation for how many years an artist or gallery can have been in business and still be “emerging” seems to increase every year. Some people are tipping Zoo to be better than Frieze this year, but you’ll have to see for yourself.

Zoo Art Fair location and travel notes: Zoo’s former location was actually closer to Frieze, but their new home couldn’t be swankier! They’re in the Royal Academy, which some might argue is the home of the oldest art fair of all, the Summer Exhibition. Between Piccadilly and Burlington Gardens, the RA is in the most central of Central London. The entrance to the fair is on the Burlington Gardens side of the building, opposite Cork Street, which probably still has more galleries per storefront than anywhere else in London.

Again, the tube is probably the answer here. It’s two stops from Regent’s Park to Piccadilly Circus on the Bakerloo Line. If you leave the station by the Piccadilly north side you can stroll west along Piccadilly and feel like a proper toff. When you get to the RA on your right, keep going and go right through Burlington Arcade, past all the bijou little shops. Burlington Gardens is at the other end. If all this seems a bit of a rigamarole, take a taxi.

Bridge Art Fair: Bridge was a lot of fun at the Catalina Hotel in Miami last year: predictably hit and miss, but with some genuine (good) surprises. They’ve decided to bring the hotel fair vibe to London, though I presume they’ll not be offering brunch around the courtyard fountains. Not unless they want to risk rain-sodden scones.

Bridge Art Fair location and travel notes: You might want to try tagging your visit to the Bridge Art Fair on to your trip to Zoo. If the weather’s decent, you’ll be able to enjoy a classic walk across the real heart of London, and past some of its best-known landmarks. You’re heading toward the Trafalgar Hotel on a little street called Spring Gardens, just off the Mall on the other side of Admiralty Arch from Trafalgar Square. Cor’ Blimey! Just hearing those names, I can hear “God Save the Queen” in my head. It’s not a long walk, but it’s a bit complicated to describe, and though London is actually at its most grid-like around here, it’s also full of little back alleys and dead ends. This is where that “London A-Z” will be worth its weight in pound coins. If it’s raining, take a taxi.

Year_07: This is the fair that called itself “Year_06” last time around. (How bothersome to have to change the name every year!) They claim their style is youthful and alternative, and they do have a number of New York’s cooler galleries here, as well as an impressive international roster.

Year_07 location and travel notes: This is another location with a bit of art-historical credibility to it: County Hall was once home to the Saatchi Gallery. Just south of the river across Westminster Bridge, and right by the London Eye, it should be easier to get to than it is. From Frieze, take the Bakerloo Line tube south from Regent’s Park to Waterloo and ask for directions to County Hall when you get there. Or take a taxi.

Cheers!