LONDON—If you’ve dragged yourself halfway round the world to London, you’re not going to want to confine yourself to seeing Frieze, especially since there are so many other international art fairs going on at the same time. But be warned: the city’s size, antiquated public transport system, and astronomical expense can frustrate even the most street-smart aesthete (it did me, which is why I no longer live there!). Unfortunately, London is hardly blessed with what you might call a healthy “geo-cultural” balance—the situation, I fear, is even worse than in your typical sprawling cosmopolis—but hopefully these observations on the fairs and tips for shuttling from Frieze to its satellites should help you plan your itinerary and ease some nerves.

Frieze: the reason you’re there, obviously, and a true heavyweight on the global art fair circuit, with 151 galleries showing.

Frieze location and travel notes: It’s in Regent’s Park, which—unlike some other British places with the word “Park” in their name—is an actual park in north central London. Feel really pleased with yourself if you (or better still, your employers) have already booked a hotel room within a few hundred yards’ walking distance.

If you haven’t, you can use the tube. The Regent’s Park and Great Portland Street stations are closest, but Baker Street, just a bit further away, is better connected. If you’re going to be using tubes at all, make sure you get yourself an “Oyster Card.” It’s not the most straightforward form of advance payment I’ve ever encountered, but a huge saving over paying for individual tickets. (Note that tube fares increase the farther you travel.)

The Frieze folks suggest using the bus, but unless you have the rare good fortune to have an easy ride from wherever you’re staying, I’d say forget it. London bus routes are insanely complicated, timetables are only there so that drivers can ignore them, and the lovely old Routemaster double-deckers have disappeared. Plus, like everything in London, they’re expensive. Still, if you want to try it, I understand that Regent’s Park is “served” (Ha!) by bus numbers 2, 13, 18, 27, 30, 74, 82, 88, 113, 115, 139, 148, 189, 274 & C2. Got that? No, I thought not.

There are car parks slightly farther away from Regent’s Park than the tube, but unless you have your own personal car and driver, my advice on driving around London is Don’t. You’ll get lost, the costs of “petrol” and parking are insane, and the steering wheel, like everything else, is on the wrong side of the car. Londoners (and the thousands of out-of-towners who haven’t a clue where they’re going) drive like blind maniacs. Even on a Sunday, a “minor road works” will cause chaos for miles around. You’ll stray into the infamous “Congestion Zone” without realizing it and be hounded by the Metropolitan Police for the rest of your days. Don’t drive.

Apparently “bike racks are provided within the park,” but that’s an even crazier idea than driving. You’re going to bike around London? In October? After flying through at least five time zones on an overnight flight? With all the cars on the wrong side of the road? No, I wouldn’t either.

So what does that leave? Taxis. Black cabs. The only form of transport in London that I can recommend with my hand on my heart. They’re comfortable. You can get five people in them with only a slight squeeze. The drivers are mostly friendly, talkative, and absolute miracle workers when it comes to knowing the quickest route from one place to another. (They actually have to pass a fiendish exam on London geography to get their license.) OK, so there aren’t enough of them, particularly in bad weather. They are also very expensive, but face it: you’re going to London for the better part of a week. There are almost exactly two dollars to the pound now. You’re going to come back with debts almost as bad as your student loans. A few cab rides aren’t going to make that much difference.